Flatter: ’22 awards, ’23 Derby futures and driving in the rain

Here is a column not on one topic but on many. I am led to believe millennials will be attracted by my having more than one train of thought. I also am led to believe this may be an attention-deficit alarm. Whatever. If this passes for an introductory paragraph, it is hereby over.

The winner of the Kelso is … This week the NBA named its annual postseason awards for various legends of the game. Instead of being called the most-valuable player, someone will win the Michael Jordan Trophy. The rookie of the year will win the Wilt Chamberlain Trophy. And so on. How about if horse racing did this? The top 3-year-old male could win the Sir Barton Trophy, named for the first Triple Crown winner. The best older mare could get the Ruffian Memorial. The champion trainer might earn the D. Wayne Lukas Award. And for horse of the year, it has to be the Kelso. Because “once upon a time ...” Anyone not getting that should look up Joe Hirsch.

Run the table. All the words written about the 3-year-old males who are candidates for the division championship are like reading about college football late in any given season. “If ______ runs the table, then it will be in the playoff.” Then ______ loses its next game. Is that not what we saw with Rich Strike in the Clark? And with Zandon and White Abarrio in the Cigar Mile? If any of them had won, he would have had a second Grade 1 victory this year. Now we are hearing that about Taiba, who would have three if he were to win the Malibu on Dec. 26. I like what Jay Privman said this week on the Ron Flatter Racing Pod (here is a gratuitous link to go with that gratuitous plug). “I think it’s better to just wait, take a good look at it, take your time, don’t rush through it, don’t feel like you’ve got to turn your homework in on Dec. 15 when the ballot drops in your mailbox,” he said. “Just do it the right way.” In other words, wait for the Malibu to be run and won, and don’t vote until January.

Dog chases its tail. With Circa Sports joining the market Thursday, Las Vegas has two sets of futures odds for Kentucky Derby 2023. Caesars Sportsbook got there first a couple months ago. Without fail since last year, questions have popped up on social media about why Bob Baffert horses are listed and even favored when he is ineligible for the Derby. As Circa’s Paul Zilm said on, yes, that pod again, “The bets are on the horse.” In other words, Nevada does not have to wait until Baffert might transfer his Derby hopefuls to other trainers next spring. As Zilm and Caesars’ Paul Bach both say, those horses generate betting steam, so they probably are underlays just because of the Baffert name. It is a vicious cycle. Even though they take so much action, horses like the egregiously heavy favorite Arabian Knight are not worth a serious bet nearly five months before the Derby. Not at these odds. Besides, the winter-book favorite has not won the race since Spectacular Bid in 1979.

The paper chase. Baffert is not done trying to fight the suspension that is keeping him out of a second consecutive Kentucky Derby. As Thoroughbred Daily News reported Thursday, he and his lawyers returned to federal court in Kentucky to appeal his punishment for the disputed drug test that took down Medina Spirit as the winner in 2021. It was the next step in a lawsuit that was filed last February. Since this will not be adjudicated overnight, there is every chance one of the great ironies of racing may happen next. If – and it is a big if – the Horseracing Integrity and Safety Authority is unsuccessful in appealing its unconstitutional status by Jan. 10, it will have come and gone faster than the Baffert case. And to think it was established in part to deal with matters just like this.

Dropping the other shoe. HISA said it would consider the appeal by Rich Strike owner Rick Dawson, who has argued that Hot Rod Charlie had illegal toe grabs on his front shoes when he narrowly won Oct. 1 in the Lukas Classic (G2) at Churchill Downs. But what happens to that appeal if HISA vanishes in 3 1/2 weeks? Maybe it would go to the octagon.

Driver education is dead. Whatever happened to the warning to slow down when driving in the rain? This question is meant especially for the 18-wheeled desperados who purposely slalom their way in phalanxes up and down divided, two-lane highways in order to frustrate us sedan dwellers. Driving home to Louisville from Turfway Park on Wednesday night, I found myself in a parking lot on I-71 near the Kentucky River. After an hour watching the battery drain in my cell phone/GPS, I actually unwedged myself, drove the wrong way up a shoulder and then onto a grassy knoll. My car became an all-terrain vehicle as I worked my way back onto a preceding exit, drove 45 miles out of my way, nearly picked off three deer in my headlights and let tailgaters pass me before I found an unclogged part of the freeway about 20 miles downstream. All this because of a big rig that careened out of control and burst into flames. But hey, at least I did not lose money at Turfway. I tell this whole story, by the way, you know where.

Racing’s third rail. There are certain topics that are not worth bringing up in this sport, because they are no-win situations. One would be a ranking of racetrack announcers. I am friendly with many, and I would like to keep it that way. Besides, why should my personal tastes be anyone’s barometer on that subject? I reserve that sort of thing for more important matters like the Eclipse Awards.

Third and a half. Oh, the 2023 calendars are showing up from tracks and farms and such. Horses at work and at play, 12 at a time. Maybe I should rank those. On second thought, see above.